FFXI Meme Collection

The Bradygames guide.

https://www.bg-wiki.com/bg/Category:Meme might be useful.
...

>you really hit the wrong button this time

lolsash

edit: wew

Also, Rykoshet.

Do YouTube titles count? Don't think they really show up.

First Sash in game, 32 War sub.

Do you mean Rukenshin?

Sigue's Storytime

It all started last June, when I was extremely bored. It wasn't that I had nothing to do, because I was having fun shooting sparrows in my back yard. No, I was bored of pants. Indeed, the constant tedium of my garments was driving me insane! So, I decided to put a little excitement into my life. (Please note that shooting sparrows isn't as exciting as you'd think, because they don't aggro or link. It's just tweet-bam-drop.)

The first thing I did was remove my shoes, which was an essential step in taking off pants. Then I took off my pants, which is easily the most crucial moment in said removal of pants. I was now standing naked in my back yard. In the Elvaan culture, underwear is shunned until you reach puberty, and this happens later in an Elvaan's life, usually around the age of 15. And I was 14.

To conceal my naked-ness, I put used my shoes as pants. Do not try and figure out the logic or physics involved, because you won't be able to. I then realized I had nothing on my feet, so I used my pants as shoes.

This didn't work out too well.

Removing my pant-shoes and my shoe-pants, I returned to my state of nakedness. I put my shoes back in their rightful place, and they thanked me. I told them they were welcome, and smiled warmly in their general direction. To this day, we maintain a good, friendly relationship. Now, back to my pants. I wasn't comfortable being naked in public like this, but luckily, I carry two slices of old toast with me at all times, so I used those as pants. Since Elvaan don't hit puberty until later, this worked fine.

Everything was peachy-keen until the sparrows decided to fight back. All at once, they swooped down, eating my toast and leaving me with nothing but my shoes, a shirt, most of my toes, legs, arms, fingers, head, and all that stuff. The biggest problem was that I now had nothing but crumbs as pants, and it was a little too revealing. That's when I realized it.

The tedium radiating from my pants wasn't because I was bored of them at all! It was the side-effect of love and constant protection of my reproductive organs, and my rump, should I run into anyone from the Navy. (Although one would assume that if they wanted to enough, they could take the pants off by force.) At that point, I put on my pants, and to this day, I've never taken them off. Ever. EVER.

The Ultimate Evil

It all started on a day in June, like most of my other stories, but this one has a precise date, which is the fourth. It was also inspired by a true event and isn't complete bull.

I was, as usual, talking into my Linkshell, mainly because I have nothing better to do. I was telling stories, which is something I like to do because it allows me to express my insanity before my head explodes, when all of a sudden, I heard shouting on the other end, the squeaky annoying voice of a Tarutaru saying "I'm your mascot ***!" And, at that precise time, I became determined to find out how this happened, because no one remembered electing a mascot.

My journey began in my Mog House, where I put on some toast. Remembering past experiences, I put on pants. I walked out and started questioning the old women of Bastok. Most of them beat me up, but one directed me to Jeuno. I payed for a Chocobo and raced to Jeuno, stopping only to releive myself.

Once I arrived in Jeuno, and old man stopped me. "The hell do you want?" I asked him. He told me about how the old woman in Bastok told him about me, and my buns of steel. We then got into a lengthy discussion about how creepy that was. At the end, he told me to go to San d'Oria, where an Elvaan priest would have the answer I was seeking.

Another lengthy Chocobo trip later, I arrived in San d'Oria. I took out my magazines and kept myself company until I fell asleep.

At 9AM, my Moogle woke me up, reminding me of my important mission. And so, I went to the church. The priest greeted me with that stupid thing they do, and led me to a room in the back. He explained that no one could hear us talking, or we would face severe retribution from something-rather-religious-mumbo-jumbo-Altana-is-hot-etcetcetc. I was expecting to get violated, because that's what priests seem to be best at, but he just talked to me. It wasn't as dissapointing as you'd imagine.

I asked him about the Tarutaru Mascot, and he frowned. "This mascot... He is an envoy of the dark god Promathia, sent to fill your linkshell with squeaky gibberish until he can gain enough power to rape your homes and pillage your women." I told him I didn't have a woman, but he said it was completely besides the point. I was shocked to hear this, because I thought that a dark god would use something more... Powerwul. In the end, I came to the conclusion that Tarutaru were evil enough.

The priest continued to speak. "He's not just small and evil... He's... British." Dum dum dum. "Run, Elvaan, and warn your friends!" he shouted in my ear, shooing me out of the church. Another priest Warped me to Bastok. I spent three days and three nights wondering why priests weren't all White Mages.

Then, I came face-to-face with the Ultimate Evil. I recognized his voice immediately. Boy, was he ever FAT. I didn't say it though, because of the whole evil thing. Frozen in fear, I stood, staring at the minion of Promathia. I decided that, to protect myself, I should befriend the evil ***, so I said to him: "Tea and... Crumpets?"

THE END