Porxie's Paradise - Mercenary Work Available

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2010-06-21
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Porxie's Paradise - Mercenary Work Available
 Bahamut.Belkin
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user: Belkin
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By Bahamut.Belkin 2020-04-28 13:27:22  
Warm greetings


My name is Belkin; you may recognize me from such places as Mhaura, Ru'Lude Gardens, and Norg. I am the founder and CEO of Porxie's Paradise -- a place where the world is your oyster! Our friendly and courteous staff absolutely cannot wait to service you, the customer. We provide a definitive, cutting-edge mercenary experience unlike any other. Your mercenary journey will stimulate both body AND mind as you enjoy our unique variety of services. Here at Porxie's, we would love for nothing more than the opportunity to get down on our knees and start pleasing you. We work around your schedule and all prices are negotiable.


But Belkin, you haven't told me what types of services you offer!

Some of the tantalizing services that we offer are listed below.

Dynamis D clears
All Omen drops
Every item from every HTBF including Odin, Alexander, Cait Sith, & Lilith.
Aeonic clears
VD Ambuscade clears
Vagary clears
Delve clears
Any number of Job Points

You can also ask about our secret, VIP services as well. ;)

As previously mentioned, many services can be flexibly priced and flexibly scheduled to fit your busy life-style.

Belkin, a lot of Linkshells offer these same. exact. services. Why should I choose Porxies?

Our prices are at the MINIMUM ALLOWABLE BY FEDERAL LAW. Our prices are so low that you'll be saying "how can they afford to do this?!" We can afford it because we cut out the middle man and buy our products directly from the manufacturer. Porxies, in turn, passes those savings on to you! We sell our services far below MSRP because here at Porxie's, customer service isn't just a priority, it's a lifestyle.

When I started Porxie's Paradise back in 2019, I was just a man with a terribly geared THF and a dream. But with hard work, the right attitude, and a quality group of LS members, we built a sturdy foundation with one simple goal in mind -- servicing you. I can personally guarantee that one, or many, of our skilled staff will service you in a way you've never been serviced before. And after any service is completed, we always seal it with a warm, caring hug. It's just our way of saying thank you.

For inquiries, please send Belkin or Varanar (which is also me) a /tell in game and we can discuss the details of your journey over a cup of coffee and a couple of scones.

And remember, here at Porxie's The World Is Your Oyster!


EDIT: WE ARE NOT SELLING ANYTHING SEXUAL! ...unless...?
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 Shiva.Arislan
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By Shiva.Arislan 2020-04-28 13:35:25  
Quote:
Our friendly and courteous staff absolutely cannot wait to service you
Quote:
Here at Porxie's, we would love for nothing more than the opportunity to get down on our knees and start pleasing you.
Quote:
You can also ask about our secret, VIP services as well. ;)
Quote:
I can personally guarantee that one, or many, of our skilled staff will service you in a way you've never been serviced before.

[+]
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By mhomho 2020-04-28 13:43:01  
Bahamut.Belkin said: »
You can also ask about our secret, VIP services as well. ;)
No matter what a stripper tells you, there is no sex, NO SEX, in the champagne room. There is no sex in the champagne room.
[+]
 Asura.Arico
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By Asura.Arico 2020-04-28 13:44:34  
Great LS Name
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 Bahamut.Yoroitsune
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By Bahamut.Yoroitsune 2020-04-28 13:47:50  
Asura.Arico said: »
Great LS Name

I dunno man, ApkalluVendetta will always have a place in my <3
[+]
 Bahamut.Celebrindal
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By Bahamut.Celebrindal 2020-04-28 14:00:15  
mhomho said: »
Bahamut.Belkin said: »
You can also ask about our secret, VIP services as well. ;)
No matter what a stripper tells you, there is no sex, NO SEX, in the champagne room. There is no sex in the champagne room.
[+]
 Odin.Senaki
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By Odin.Senaki 2020-04-28 15:27:34  
What are your prices for Dyna-D and Aeonic clears?
 Bahamut.Belkin
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By Bahamut.Belkin 2020-04-28 17:14:25  
Odin.Senaki said: »
What are your prices for Dyna-D and Aeonic clears?

At this time, I am thinking 60M for Dynamis D clear, but with a possibility of a 20-30% discount if you contribute.

Full aeonic clear, you keep all the drops, 100m.
 Odin.Senaki
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By Odin.Senaki 2020-04-29 16:38:43  
Bahamut.Belkin said: »
Odin.Senaki said: »
What are your prices for Dyna-D and Aeonic clears?

At this time, I am thinking 60M for Dynamis D clear, but with a possibility of a 20-30% discount if you contribute.

Full aeonic clear, you keep all the drops, 100m.

Understood, ty!
necroskull Necro Bump Detected! [65 days between previous and next post]
 Bahamut.Belkin
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By Bahamut.Belkin 2020-07-03 08:16:29  
Bump.

We had a great 2 month's here at Porxies. We had the opportunity to service some of the members of this great community. We completed roughly 15 full Aeonics in that span of time.

We are looking to open up requests yet again to keep our books and hearts full. We would love to serve you. As we refined our schedule, it most commonly ends up looking something like this:

Day 1: Zi'tah and Ru'Aun up to AA/Gods/Kirin/WoC
Day 2: Finish Ru'Aun and do 3-4 Reisenjima HELMs
Day 3: Finish Reisenjima

We usually start at 11AM EST and finish up around 2PM EST.

Send me a message to reserve your spot TODAY!
 Cerberus.Myishka
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By Cerberus.Myishka 2020-07-03 08:23:28  
Asura.Arico said: »
Great LS Name

Totally sounds like a strip joint!
 Bahamut.Belkin
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user: Belkin
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By Bahamut.Belkin 2020-07-03 08:46:10  
Cerberus.Myishka said: »
Asura.Arico said: »
Great LS Name

Totally sounds like a strip joint!

And remember, here at Porxie's The World Is Your Oyster!
[+]
 Bahamut.Belkin
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By Bahamut.Belkin 2020-07-17 13:47:34  
Hello everyone,

We have availability in the near future and we would love for you to be our guest on the journey of a lifetime as we fulfill your wildest dreams for rock bottom prices!

We derive great pleasure from seeing you get the item(s) you so rightfully deserve. We would love nothing more than to bring a smile to that face of yours with a nice, freshly baked Aeonic or perhaps a succulent Gere Ring. Or maybe it's a Wave 3 Dynamis D clear that you desire? Here at Porxie's, customer service isn't just a lifestyle, it's a DEEPLY INDOCTRINATED CULT-LIKE culture.

If you don't believe me, I can let some of our reviews speak for themselves.

"They fulfilled my wildest dreams." - Anonymous Buyer #1

"Wow, I haven't been satisfied like that since college!" - Anonymous Buyer #2

"I inquired about Porxie's VIP services and let me tell you, they do not disappoint." - Anonymous Buyer #3

"Wouldn't send feet pics, but did get me an aeonic for the cheapest price on any server, so I guess it's fine." - Anonymous Buyer #4

So as you can see folks, no customer has been left wanting. Send me a message to get started on your final fantasy today!

EDIT: I have been reminded to inform people that this is not an advertisement for sexual favors.
necroskull Necro Bump Detected! [221 days between previous and next post]
 Bahamut.Belkin
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By Bahamut.Belkin 2021-02-23 10:43:23  
Greetings everyone,

Porxie's Paradise has been away getting some much needed R&R, but we have returned with renewed enthusiasm for helping you, the customer.

During these uncertain times, we know that gil is hard to come by, so that's why we want to provide the best possible prices for you and your family. Porxie's has been awarded a special permit by the government to bypass the market regulated prices to bring you the best possible value for things like Aeonic weaponry and dynamis D clears. With the new odyssey content, there has never been a better time to become a full Sakpata Chango WAR or to R15 that Mandau to achieve high THF DPS potential. Let us help you achieve greatness.

Send me a private message today and you'll receive a special bonus offer of a one-of-a-kind complimentary turn-down service. That's a 5m gil value, absolutely free!
necroskull Necro Bump Detected! [115 days between previous and next post]
 Bahamut.Belkin
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By Bahamut.Belkin 2021-06-18 15:30:00  
Hello,

I'm Belkin, founder and CEO of Porxie's Paradise. When I started this linkshell in my basement with nothing but the shirt on my back, I made a commitment to stay true to myself, to value the customer, and to fulfill my duties with honor and integrity.

After two illustrious years of serving the community, Porxies is still operating out of my basement (because that's where my computer is), but I am proud to say that the only breach of integrity that I've had is that I'm willing to offer rock bottom prices far below MSRP while maintaining superior service. Now you may be thinking to yourself "Belkin, why is that a breach of your integrity?" And the answer is simple: I will bend over backwards for you to get you the satisfaction you deserve. In some states, getting you this much satisfaction can be considered a class three felony. To that I say: come back with a warrant. We offer EV-RE-THING. Aeonic? Yes! Odyssey? Yes! Tumult Curator? Yes! Dog sit for you over the weekend while you go reluctantly go visit your in-laws? Yes!

Send me a private message today and receive a picture of a cat wearing a crudely photoshopped party hat. That's a 3m gil value, absolutely free!
[+]
 Bahamut.Speedycat
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By Bahamut.Speedycat 2021-06-18 19:09:14  
How much would 1 bucket get me (*'-')b
 Bahamut.Belkin
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user: Belkin
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By Bahamut.Belkin 2021-06-18 19:15:08  
Bahamut.Speedycat said: »
How much would 1 bucket get me (*'-')b

Yeah.
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 Odin.Senaki
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By Odin.Senaki 2021-06-19 03:02:07  
What price are you selling Ody clears at? :)
 Bahamut.Suph
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By Bahamut.Suph 2021-06-19 05:17:40  
Odin.Senaki said: »
What price are you selling Ody clears at? :)

1 Aurgelmir Orb +1 probably :o
[+]
 Bahamut.Agerine
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By Bahamut.Agerine 2021-06-19 08:33:40  
Is this the same struggling mother of 3 I had a sent a thought and prayer to earlier this week?!?!
 Bahamut.Yukisoba
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By Bahamut.Yukisoba 2021-06-19 10:27:18  
Just trying to make ends meet however possible
 Asura.Aeonova
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By Asura.Aeonova 2021-06-19 15:32:49  
I appreciate the effort that went into making the OP of this thread. Thank you for your service.
necroskull Necro Bump Detected! [366 days between previous and next post]
 Bahamut.Belkin
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By Bahamut.Belkin 2022-06-20 15:42:37  
Hi all,

I wanted to provide an update in that I am still offering many of these fine services, with some additional things.

I also wanted to make my prices transparent on here in case you were trying to compare these services with perhaps services from another server.

I sell all Odyssey V0 clears for 10m each. I sell all Odyssey V15 clears for 30m each (Mboze and Ongo would require your participation). I sell V20 Bumba clear for 150m. This is a rather special request, so we would need to discuss the details on this if you were interested.

I sell Aeonics on demand for 30m each, all the drops are yours (unless there is another buyer, then you two would need to work something out). The times/dates on this is flexible, I can play at some weird hours if need be.

I also pretty much just sell anything you can think of. W3 clears, HTBF drops, omen junk. I pretty much solo all of this stuff, so I can offer the lowest prices since I don't need to split profits with others. Most prices outside of what is listed above (odyssey and aeonic) are negotiable.

If you are considering or have questions, you can send me a PM on here or add me on Discord. My handle is rotanikleb#8616.

Thanks all!
[+]
 Bahamut.Belkin
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By Bahamut.Belkin 2022-07-07 15:47:12  
Giving this thread a hearty bump.

I am backlogged on Omen requests, but I am available for many other services. In fact, I would absolutely love to sell you some odyssey clears. V0, V15, V20, you name it.

If you notice the sign behind me, you'll see that I sell for the LOWEST PRICES ALLOWABLE BY FEDERAL LAW.

Send me a message, I might even flirt with you, depending on the time of day.
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 Phoenix.Raycian
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By Phoenix.Raycian 2022-07-07 16:32:20  
Got me my Fomalhaut when I first returned to the game. Good dude.
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