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Wife:Give up newborn/down syndrone or get divorced
By Bloodrose 2015-02-06 17:00:12
The titles rarely do a good book any justice, and even fewer have title designs worth catching the eye, so you have to pick it up and skim a few pages, or read the synopsis on the back. Even still, it will most likely be heavily over-simplified.
News papers are designed to use the most dramatic pictures, narratives, and titles they can to get people to pick it up, and pay w/e they charge for it.
サーバ: Shiva
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3621
By Shiva.Onorgul 2015-02-06 17:08:45
It's like someone who loses a limb. Yeah it's great they live on and don't give up on their lives, but they're not leading a normal life anymore. What the hell is normal, then? Name one person who doesn't have something that makes their personal life difficult.
By fonewear 2015-02-06 17:13:45
I discourage reading in all forms. You might learn something.
That is why I only watch Huff Post videos.
By Bloodrose 2015-02-06 17:14:41
When I say "literature", I do include novels and such, as they still belong in context.
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Ragnarok.Zeig
サーバ: Ragnarok
Game: FFXI
Posts: 1604
By Ragnarok.Zeig 2015-02-06 21:15:23
It's like someone who loses a limb. Yeah it's great they live on and don't give up on their lives, but they're not leading a normal life anymore. What the hell is normal, then? Name one person who doesn't have something that makes their personal life difficult. Nobody is "normal" on all fronts, but that doesn't make everyone "abnormal", neither.
The things that make people's personal lives difficult (compared to the majority of the population) are what people generally label as "abnormalities".
I realize that this is sometimes subjective (e.g. quantify "difficult", at what point would you consider the "difficulty" severe enough to warrant labeling the cause an " abnormality", etc), but some are easier to identify a reasonable norm for than others. Some are straight forward, like amelia. For some others, we can use percentiles. Some obviously affect a person's life adversely way more than others. Some might not even affect the person's life, but the lives of those around him (e.g. a homicidal maniac).
サーバ: Cerberus
Game: FFXI
Posts: 4415
By Cerberus.Senkyuutai 2015-02-06 23:39:18
If your child is born with Down's, it's not the end of the world, as I said. I think many (most? a majority?) of people with planned or "pleasant suprise" pregnancies would go along with it if they unexpectedly found themselves with a Down's child. Down syndrome is not something I'd wish on my child, no, but nor would I wish autism, far-sightedness, pigeon-toed-ness, and the long list of disabilities that I, personally, have lived with. I was diagnosed when I was 3 or 4 with hypermetropia yet I didn't experience any of the symptoms past the age of 8.
I know someone else with this and said person spent his whole life wearing glasses.
I don't understand how it can be that bad, though. Said other person lives a normal life, he just wears glasses.
サーバ: Shiva
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3621
By Shiva.Onorgul 2015-02-06 23:56:34
Cerberus.Senkyuutai said: »I don't understand how it can be that bad, though. Said other person lives a normal life, he just wears glasses. That was mostly my point, actually. Except for having an astigmatism in my right eye that can throw things off when I'm tired, I'm more than capable of doing most things without my glasses. The one thing I can't reliably do is read, which is kind of a big deal.
I just listed far-sightedness, which is by far the least intrusive of focal point errors, because it's the defect I have. Near-sightedness or full astigmatism are far more dangerous/obnoxious, obviously.
By Jetackuu 2015-02-08 10:34:14
https://gma.yahoo.com/woman-defends-herself-husband-says-she-gave-newborn-191921642--abc-news-parenting.html
Quote: A woman accused by her husband of divorcing him and giving up their newborn son after learning he was born with Down syndrome called the decision the "hardest moment" of her life.
Ruzan Badalyan gave birth to Leo while in Armenia. Her husband, Samuel Forrest, told ABC News this week that she divorced him shortly after the boy's birth.
"I remember the sad faces of my relatives and the doctors and the diagnosis that sounded like a verdict: 'Your child was born with a Down syndrome.' One can never imagine my feelings at that moment," Badalyan wrote in a Facebook post. "Hardly had I recovered from the first shock, when the doctor approached me and told me to voice my decision whether I was going to keep Leo or not. I had to make the most ruthless decision in my life within several hours."
Dad Refuses to Give Up Newborn Son With Down Syndrome
Badalyan wrote that she spent several hours after her son's birth trying to decide on his "best destiny." She said that Forrest accepted that their son's interest should be first and that "only his move to another country could remedy the situation."
Calls to Badalyan and Forrest have not yet been returned.
While Forrest said that his wife gave him an ultimatum after learning their son had Down syndrome, Badalyan said her husband did not support her while she weighed the decision.
"In the hardest moment of my life when my husband should be next to me and support and help to take the right decision, I could not find any support from his side," she wrote. "After that incident, he left the hospital notifying me hours later that he was taking the kid with him, that he is going to leave the country for New Zealand and I do not have anything to do with the situation. Without giving me any option and trying to find with me any solution in this hardest situation, he started to circulate the story on every possible platform without even trying to give me a voice accusing that I put him an ultimatum marriage or the baby, which is absolutely not true. I tried several times to communicate but he never tried to listen me and to find common solutions. The only response was the accusation from his part.
Forrest, who plans to take Leo to his native New Zealand, said Badalyan filed for divorce one week after Leo's birth.
"Sam has never suggested joining him and bringing up the child together in his country," wrote Badalyan. "Neither did he tell me anything on the day we filed for divorce. The only thing he kept saying was that he didn't want us to separate, whereas my question what we should do always remained unanswered."
"As a mother who has faced this severe situation, being in the hospital under stress and depression, experiencing enormous pressure from every side, not finding any support from my husband’s part on any possibilities of giving a child decent life in Armenia, I faced two options: to take care of the child on my own in Armenia, or to abandon my maternal instincts and extend the baby an opportunity to enjoy a decent life with his father in New Zealand. I went for the second option," she continued.
There's always more than one side of a story...
Leviathan.Chaosx
サーバ: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 20284
By Leviathan.Chaosx 2015-02-08 10:47:04
https://gma.yahoo.com/woman-defends-herself-husband-says-she-gave-newborn-191921642--abc-news-parenting.html
Quote: A woman accused by her husband of divorcing him and giving up their newborn son after learning he was born with Down syndrome called the decision the "hardest moment" of her life.
Ruzan Badalyan gave birth to Leo while in Armenia. Her husband, Samuel Forrest, told ABC News this week that she divorced him shortly after the boy's birth.
"I remember the sad faces of my relatives and the doctors and the diagnosis that sounded like a verdict: 'Your child was born with a Down syndrome.' One can never imagine my feelings at that moment," Badalyan wrote in a Facebook post. "Hardly had I recovered from the first shock, when the doctor approached me and told me to voice my decision whether I was going to keep Leo or not. I had to make the most ruthless decision in my life within several hours."
Dad Refuses to Give Up Newborn Son With Down Syndrome
Badalyan wrote that she spent several hours after her son's birth trying to decide on his "best destiny." She said that Forrest accepted that their son's interest should be first and that "only his move to another country could remedy the situation."
Calls to Badalyan and Forrest have not yet been returned.
While Forrest said that his wife gave him an ultimatum after learning their son had Down syndrome, Badalyan said her husband did not support her while she weighed the decision.
"In the hardest moment of my life when my husband should be next to me and support and help to take the right decision, I could not find any support from his side," she wrote. "After that incident, he left the hospital notifying me hours later that he was taking the kid with him, that he is going to leave the country for New Zealand and I do not have anything to do with the situation. Without giving me any option and trying to find with me any solution in this hardest situation, he started to circulate the story on every possible platform without even trying to give me a voice accusing that I put him an ultimatum marriage or the baby, which is absolutely not true. I tried several times to communicate but he never tried to listen me and to find common solutions. The only response was the accusation from his part.
Forrest, who plans to take Leo to his native New Zealand, said Badalyan filed for divorce one week after Leo's birth.
"Sam has never suggested joining him and bringing up the child together in his country," wrote Badalyan. "Neither did he tell me anything on the day we filed for divorce. The only thing he kept saying was that he didn't want us to separate, whereas my question what we should do always remained unanswered."
"As a mother who has faced this severe situation, being in the hospital under stress and depression, experiencing enormous pressure from every side, not finding any support from my husband’s part on any possibilities of giving a child decent life in Armenia, I faced two options: to take care of the child on my own in Armenia, or to abandon my maternal instincts and extend the baby an opportunity to enjoy a decent life with his father in New Zealand. I went for the second option," she continued.
There's always more than one side of a story... Sounds like she's trying to save face.
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By Jetackuu 2015-02-08 10:49:52
https://gma.yahoo.com/woman-defends-herself-husband-says-she-gave-newborn-191921642--abc-news-parenting.html
Quote: A woman accused by her husband of divorcing him and giving up their newborn son after learning he was born with Down syndrome called the decision the "hardest moment" of her life.
Ruzan Badalyan gave birth to Leo while in Armenia. Her husband, Samuel Forrest, told ABC News this week that she divorced him shortly after the boy's birth.
"I remember the sad faces of my relatives and the doctors and the diagnosis that sounded like a verdict: 'Your child was born with a Down syndrome.' One can never imagine my feelings at that moment," Badalyan wrote in a Facebook post. "Hardly had I recovered from the first shock, when the doctor approached me and told me to voice my decision whether I was going to keep Leo or not. I had to make the most ruthless decision in my life within several hours."
Dad Refuses to Give Up Newborn Son With Down Syndrome
Badalyan wrote that she spent several hours after her son's birth trying to decide on his "best destiny." She said that Forrest accepted that their son's interest should be first and that "only his move to another country could remedy the situation."
Calls to Badalyan and Forrest have not yet been returned.
While Forrest said that his wife gave him an ultimatum after learning their son had Down syndrome, Badalyan said her husband did not support her while she weighed the decision.
"In the hardest moment of my life when my husband should be next to me and support and help to take the right decision, I could not find any support from his side," she wrote. "After that incident, he left the hospital notifying me hours later that he was taking the kid with him, that he is going to leave the country for New Zealand and I do not have anything to do with the situation. Without giving me any option and trying to find with me any solution in this hardest situation, he started to circulate the story on every possible platform without even trying to give me a voice accusing that I put him an ultimatum marriage or the baby, which is absolutely not true. I tried several times to communicate but he never tried to listen me and to find common solutions. The only response was the accusation from his part.
Forrest, who plans to take Leo to his native New Zealand, said Badalyan filed for divorce one week after Leo's birth.
"Sam has never suggested joining him and bringing up the child together in his country," wrote Badalyan. "Neither did he tell me anything on the day we filed for divorce. The only thing he kept saying was that he didn't want us to separate, whereas my question what we should do always remained unanswered."
"As a mother who has faced this severe situation, being in the hospital under stress and depression, experiencing enormous pressure from every side, not finding any support from my husband’s part on any possibilities of giving a child decent life in Armenia, I faced two options: to take care of the child on my own in Armenia, or to abandon my maternal instincts and extend the baby an opportunity to enjoy a decent life with his father in New Zealand. I went for the second option," she continued.
There's always more than one side of a story... Sounds like she's trying to save face.
Perhaps, but really the only two people who know are her and the father, and he has a bunch of donations to rake in, while her only solace is public perception of something that was a personal decision.
I'm more inclined to believe the one with financial gain on the line is the liar, call that being cynical if you want.
By fonewear 2015-02-11 08:34:43
It's like someone who loses a limb. Yeah it's great they live on and don't give up on their lives, but they're not leading a normal life anymore. What the hell is normal, then? Name one person who doesn't have something that makes their personal life difficult.
Obama.
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Lakshmi.Flavin
サーバ: Lakshmi
Game: FFXI
Posts: 18466
By Lakshmi.Flavin 2015-02-11 08:45:26
No you don't lead a normal life with down syndrome. Living on doesn't mean living on normally.
It's like someone who loses a limb. Yeah it's great they live on and don't give up on their lives, but they're not leading a normal life anymore.
inb4 someone says the usual bs "but normality is boring", yeah go cut your hand that'll make life "interesting". It's more like losing a limb doesn't keep you from leading a normal life lol... It makes it more difficult but I mean... what do you do with your life? You think someone missing a limb can't live with their parents and talk to a bunch of other people on a gaming forum and play some video games?
There's handicapped people out there doing a lot more than that lol... That's not just some other person saying this to piss on you or anything but rather the truth.
Down syndrom affects someone more than that. Mental faculties are dulled and such.
All this is is a display of selfishness. I don't want this life that I brought into the world because it will make my own more difficult. I want a kid but not that kid... If that's your decision so be it but don't try to make it out to be anything other than that.
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By fonewear 2015-02-11 08:49:33
There is a place for unwanted children it's called Africa.
Quetzalcoatl.Kenrusai
サーバ: Quetzalcoatl
Game: FFXI
Posts: 1899
By Quetzalcoatl.Kenrusai 2015-02-11 09:49:53
Child didn't ask to be born, and it may grow up hating it's life.
If it were me, I would likely have wanted death.
By Jetackuu 2015-02-11 09:54:09
After reading both sides again, it seems more and more like the husband wanted to move to "give the best life for the baby in New Zealand" and the mother agreed, just didn't want to go with.
If that's the case, that's a rather rough decision to make. But we'll never truly know as we weren't there and it has boiled down to a he said she said argument.
Ragnarok.Nausi
サーバ: Ragnarok
Game: FFXI
Posts: 6709
By Ragnarok.Nausi 2015-02-11 13:13:54
Any of you fascists promoting eugenics again?
I long for a race of blonde hair blue eyed women !
Blonde eyed blue haired women!
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Ragnarok.Nausi
サーバ: Ragnarok
Game: FFXI
Posts: 6709
By Ragnarok.Nausi 2015-02-11 13:16:30
No you don't lead a normal life with down syndrome. Living on doesn't mean living on normally.
It's like someone who loses a limb. Yeah it's great they live on and don't give up on their lives, but they're not leading a normal life anymore.
inb4 someone says the usual bs "but normality is boring", yeah go cut your hand that'll make life "interesting". It's more like losing a limb doesn't keep you from leading a normal life lol... It makes it more difficult but I mean... what do you do with your life? You think someone missing a limb can't live with their parents and talk to a bunch of other people on a gaming forum and play some video games?
There's handicapped people out there doing a lot more than that lol... That's not just some other person saying this to piss on you or anything but rather the truth.
Down syndrom affects someone more than that. Mental faculties are dulled and such.
All this is is a display of selfishness. I don't want this life that I brought into the world because it will make my own more difficult. I want a kid but not that kid... If that's your decision so be it but don't try to make it out to be anything other than that.
People who think such a way should be ashamed of themselves.
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By Bloodrose 2015-02-11 13:23:46
No you don't lead a normal life with down syndrome. Living on doesn't mean living on normally.
It's like someone who loses a limb. Yeah it's great they live on and don't give up on their lives, but they're not leading a normal life anymore.
inb4 someone says the usual bs "but normality is boring", yeah go cut your hand that'll make life "interesting". It's more like losing a limb doesn't keep you from leading a normal life lol... It makes it more difficult but I mean... what do you do with your life? You think someone missing a limb can't live with their parents and talk to a bunch of other people on a gaming forum and play some video games?
There's handicapped people out there doing a lot more than that lol... That's not just some other person saying this to piss on you or anything but rather the truth.
Down syndrom affects someone more than that. Mental faculties are dulled and such.
All this is is a display of selfishness. I don't want this life that I brought into the world because it will make my own more difficult. I want a kid but not that kid... If that's your decision so be it but don't try to make it out to be anything other than that.
People who think such a way should be ashamed of themselves. Holy ***, hell froze over. I'm agreeing with Nausi AND Amandarius in the same god damn day. (agreed with Amand in another thread)
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Leviathan.Chaosx
サーバ: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 20284
By Leviathan.Chaosx 2015-02-11 13:24:49
No you don't lead a normal life with down syndrome. Living on doesn't mean living on normally.
It's like someone who loses a limb. Yeah it's great they live on and don't give up on their lives, but they're not leading a normal life anymore.
inb4 someone says the usual bs "but normality is boring", yeah go cut your hand that'll make life "interesting". It's more like losing a limb doesn't keep you from leading a normal life lol... It makes it more difficult but I mean... what do you do with your life? You think someone missing a limb can't live with their parents and talk to a bunch of other people on a gaming forum and play some video games?
There's handicapped people out there doing a lot more than that lol... That's not just some other person saying this to piss on you or anything but rather the truth.
Down syndrom affects someone more than that. Mental faculties are dulled and such.
All this is is a display of selfishness. I don't want this life that I brought into the world because it will make my own more difficult. I want a kid but not that kid... If that's your decision so be it but don't try to make it out to be anything other than that.
People who think such a way should be ashamed of themselves. Holy ***, hell froze over. I'm agreeing with Nausi AND Amandarius in the same god damn day. (agreed with Amand in another thread) About time!
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By Bloodrose 2015-02-11 13:26:37
I think it might be just a limited engagement though.
On the other hand, Amandarius hasn't been posting as much, and in comparison to our new and recent crackpot thread hijackers, both Amand and Nausi seem more reasonable than in the past.
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By fonewear 2015-02-11 13:27:27
Dear Diary I agreed with Nasui and it was the best day of my life.
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By Bloodrose 2015-02-11 13:27:51
Dear Diary I agreed with Nasui and it was the creepiest day of my life.
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Leviathan.Chaosx
サーバ: Leviathan
Game: FFXI
Posts: 20284
By Leviathan.Chaosx 2015-02-11 13:28:00
Lordgrim - uniting the FFXIAH community!
And you guys called him crazy for thinking he could do such a thing.
By Bloodrose 2015-02-11 13:29:06
Lordgrim - uniting the FFXIAH community!
And you guys called him crazy for thinking he could do such a thing. actually, we joked that it could become a reality.
Which was more horrifying than agreeing with anyone that held a different viewpoint than my own.
By fonewear 2015-02-11 13:29:52
I'm crazier than all of you but I'm taking today off !
There can be only one certified insane person per video game forum !
By Bloodrose 2015-02-11 13:30:38
Ugh, now I have this crazy feeling that no matter what I do, i'll never feel clean again.
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By fonewear 2015-02-11 13:33:47
Ugh, now I have this crazy feeling that no matter what I do, i'll never feel clean again.
How to feel clean: Lick a bar of soap.
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Quote: Dad Refuses to Give Up Newborn Son With Down Syndrome
When Samuel Forrest of Armenia heard a baby crying from outside his wife's hospital room, he knew his life would change forever.
Not only had he become a father, but he would soon receive some unexpected news about his newborn son.
"This pediatrician walks out of the room with a little bundle -- that was Leo," Forrest said. "She had his face covered up and hospital authorities wouldn't let me see him or my wife. When the doctor came out, he said 'there’s a real problem with your son.'
Forrest followed doctors and nurses into a room where he'd finally get to meet his baby.
"When I walked into the room they all turned to me and said 'Leo has Down syndrome," he told ABC News. "I had a few moments of shock."
After the news had sunk in, Forrest held Leo for the very first time.
"They took me in see him and I looked at this guy and I said, he's beautiful -- he's perfect and I'm absolutely keeping him."
Soon Forrest walked into his wife's hospital room with Leo in his arms.
Her reaction was unlike one he ever expected.
"I got the ultimatum right then," he said. "She told me if I kept him then we would get a divorce."
Attempts to reach the hospital for comment weren't immediately successful. The baby's mother, Ruzan Badalyan, told ABC News that she did have a child with Down syndrome and she has left her husband, who has the child, but she declined to elaborate.
Forrest, who's from Auckland, New Zealand, said he was completely unaware of the hospital practices in Armenia when it came to children.
"What happens when a baby like this is born here, they will tell you that you don’t have to keep them," he said. "My wife had already decided, so all of this was done behind my back."
Despite his wife's warnings, Forrest said he never had a doubt in his mind that he would hold onto his son.
One week after his birth, Leo's mom filed for divorce.
"It's not what I want," Forrest said. "I didn’t even have a chance to speak with her in privately about it."
Forrest, who works as a freelance business contractor, has plans for he and Leo to move to his native country of New Zealand where he said they'll receive support from loved ones.
In the meantime, he's enlisted for some help on his GoFundMe page titled "Bring Leo Home."
"This really came out of the blue for me," he said. "I don’t have a lot, I have very little in fact. The goal is to raise enough for a year so I can get a part-time job so Leo doesn't have to be in daycare and I can help care for him. He's lost a lot in two weeks. It'd be different if he had his mommy."
Forrest has recently been working with disability awareness groups to share his story in the hopes that parents will become better educated on children with special needs.
"After what I've been through with Leo, I'm not going to sit back and watch babies be sent to orphanages," he said. "As a child with Down syndrome, that becomes somewhat of a label. If we can get around this label, we’ll see that they’re normal. They’re a little different from us, but they’re still normal.
"They all have niches and I want to work hard to find out where Leo's special. This little guy is great."
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