Random Politics & Religion #00

I accused you of being partisan because IMO in your mind this has to be about that because you are set on what I am to you.


This^ is all this is about.

Barack Obama visited the Alaskan fishing village of Dillingham Wednesday, where he sampled some salmon jerky, talked to the residents about climate change, and met an amorous salmon which*** all over his mukluks. The fish’s negligent discharge occurred while the president was getting a look at the villagers’ traditional fishing methods; after holding up one fine specimen that he pronounced “a nice-looking fish right there,” Obama was invited to grab a second fish, which had apparently been waiting for this moment since the 2008 primaries. With one mighty Piscean ejaculation, the salmon instantly supplanted the National Review’s “little starbursts” for Sarah Palin as the most excessive declaration of love for a politician.

Needless to say, the incident was captured for eternity on video (NSFW: Fish sperms and dorsal fin nudity)

CBS News described the seminal moment of Obama’s Alaska trip in the most delicate of language:
Barry Bamz just has that effect sometimes, even on fish. The salmon’s enthusiastic support was in marked contrast to the embarrassing scene at a Mississippi fish farm, where a catfish recently reacted to Jeb Bush by quietly closing its gills and expiring with a muddy, resigned burble.

Asked for comment, Donald Trump said that he was not impressed.

Yr Wonkette would like to thank the people and wildlife of Alaska; we have been waiting all year to write the phrase “fish splooge on the President’s shoes.”

You have your own thread. Don't pollute this one with that filth.

The answer was no.

I honestly thought you would like King.

The answer was no because she hasn't been indicted. Are you done getting your emotions out over this yet?

I am more impartial by far

....
No, not really. Why should I like seeing anything from Wonkette?

I will continue to post their tirades against the right in Random P&R when appropriate but their rants against fools will be posted here.

CUOMO[Chris Cuomo, CNN news anchor]: Understood, but it is your department and it is your policy, and it would be within your purview to say whether or not her practice met your policy. Can you?

KIRBY[State Department Spokesman John Kirby]: Well, we have said in the past, Chris, there was no policy prohibiting the use of a private e-mail account here at the State Department. That is still a fact. Now, we obviously have policies in place now that highly discourage that, and you're supposed to use your government account so there's a constant, permanent record of it. But at the time she was not violating policy.

CUOMO: Even though there was a change in 2009 and that would have overlapped?

KIRBY: As I said, at the time when she was secretary of state there was no prohibition to her use of a private e-mail.

QUESTION: But in this case here, we’re talking about thousands and thousands of emails, not just one little bit of slippage.

MR KIRBY: Well, we’re doing – we’re talking thousands of email traffic. And again, I think you need to keep it in perspective the number of emails in this tranche, anyway, that were deemed to have at least partially sensitive or classified material in it – 25 out of thousands. I mean, I think it’s important to keep that in perspective. And again, just because it’s classified now doesn’t mean that it necessarily would’ve been classified then, and even if it would have been or should have been then doesn’t mean that the recipients or the people transmitting the information had the benefit of that knowledge.

“She said he was happy to see me,” the president said.

Gay fish hahahaha

We’re just going to keep begging for someone — anyone, please, anyone at all — to make it stop for poor, dumb BUT LIKE REALLY DUMB Rick Perry. Please.

See, on Thursday afternoon, Donald J. Trump, of the Donald J. Trump empire, and also of the Republican presidential primary ***, speeched all over the TV, as he loves to do, about how he is Donald J. Trump, and you’re not. And that all those weak loser Republican candidates he’s supposedly competing against, but really kicking their butts so it’s like it’s not even a competition, DEFINITELY are not. And when they try to come at Donald J. Trump as if they are Donald J. Trump, they just end up hurting themselves. Hell, Trump said, look at Rick Perry, he tried to whip his mean out at Trump, and now he’s not even in the race anymore!

“Perry attacked me,” Trump said, “now he’s getting out of the race! He was at 4 or 5 percent. Now he’s getting out of the race — he was at zero.”

This was news to Rick Perry, who thinks he is TOO still in the race, even though the rest of the world knows that nah, dude, not really. But, despite our pleas for mercy, nobody has the big classy balls to tell Perry the truth — except for Trump, of course!

So Perry, who happened to be scheduled to appear on Fox News for some reason, said, “No I am still running for president and Trump is a dumb stupid dummy.”



And no, you’re not the moron for not understanding what the flippity DO WHAT NOW HUH? Perry is even talking about. He’s just dumb. Super dumb. All kinds of dumb. Dumb and dumb and so dumb JESUS ON THE CROSS what a dumb! Just like how Trump said earlier this summer, when he joked — only he probably wasn’t joking at all — that Rick Perry is too damned dumb to be allowed on a debate stage:



So yeah, there you have it. Yr Wonkette and Donald J. Trump are the only ones brave enough to say what we’re all thinking, which is that Rick Perry’s playtime is over, even if he doesn’t realize it yet.

After Trump casually removed Rick Perry from the race, he also confirmed that yes, he has promised the Republican National Committee he totally won’t run as an independent candidate, even if the party gives the nomination to some low-energy loser like Jeb! Bush, who LITERALLY puts his audience to sleep when he drones words from his face. (Yes, literally. Actually literally.)



Like we said, Donald J. Trump’s loyalty oath pledge promise means basically nothing whatsoever, because he can do whatever he wants, and that piece of paper he signed means ZERO ZIP NOTHING. But also? At his current rate, he just might be the Republican nominee anyway, since he keeps kicking all the butts in all the polls. And then his “promise” really won’t matter at all.

Best. Republican primary. EVAH!

It is not because she is a woman. She lacks charisma.

How is she supposed to have "charisma" without coming across as nagging or lecturing?

Although, after this, I don't know if you know what the word "charisma" means.

It helps you charm wild monsters in FFXI? lol

I know what it means. The point I'm trying to make is that I don't think it matters if Hillary is smiling with baked cookies glued to her hands and singing the Star Spangled Banner in Spanish- it wouldn't matter.

Doesn't she need to be an ice queen to be taken seriously by men? That's the whole transformation women went through in corporate america with the shoulder pads and now opting out of their maternity leave(e.g. Yahoo CEO).

I'm not by any means using this as a means to justify her as a "good" candidate. More like why is she still getting the same round of Ice Queen jokes this round when she has significantly changed her demeanor.

An agent assigned to protect her said that when she was in front of the press she “turns it on, and when the lights are off and she’s away from the lights, she’s a totally different person.”