|
|
Advice on girls, yes another one
 Ramuh.Urial
サーバ: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 31068
By Ramuh.Urial 2011-12-07 19:12:42
Ifrit.Darkanaseur said: »As far as growing facial hair I can't really grow it. .-.
And I agree that I am way too shy to flirt! I don't even know how too.
I've never found flirting to be anything more than general conversation. It's really just when people introduce themselves/talk to someone and try too hard to appear interesting. Real talk is where it's at, getting to know someone well, even on a date is way better.
Friend zone doesn't exit >:3
Friend zone does exist. Some people just ahve better luck finding their way through the labyrinth
[+]
By Brolli 2011-12-07 19:13:13
@ op if she doesn't respond you after some messages, she is no longer interested, i do it, and is the regular thing ppl do , move on there is loads of woman out there /thread
Fenrir.Niniann
サーバ: Fenrir
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2871
By Fenrir.Niniann 2011-12-07 19:13:33
I'll send you the links as soon as I'm on my computer unless someone wants to dig it up for me. Honestly it's probably stuff you already know/do instinctively. You don't seem like the type of person who needs my blunt advice D: Oh, it was more of "I wonder what Nini thinks of said behavior".
Im just showing interests in your thoughts/ideals.
And thanks :D
Fair enough D:< I'll send it you way in like ~20min.
[+]
 Hades.Cheyne
サーバ: Hades
Game: FFXI
Posts: 9469
By Hades.Cheyne 2011-12-07 19:14:09
Carbuncle.Joeywheeler said: »I think I figured out my problem why girls never flirt with me.
It's because I look 16.
So they think I'm jailbait.
I'm gonna say it's that and nothing else. :c
If you weren't so shy and initiated flirting it wouldn't happen. If you flirt with them and tell them you're 20 they will open up. Most girls see it as the males initiative to start flirting.
Will still be tough if he actually looks 16.
Be like me and pick up middle schoolers.
Middle schoolers try to flirt with me all the time == And it's because they think I'm their age, not because older chicks are cool.
Then I end up on Dateline NBC because one of them is an undercover cop or decoy.
But even then, I'm just way too shy to walk up to some random person and start chatting.
What if they have a boyfriend? Or think I'm weird? Then tell everyone I'm weird? It's too complicated.
Ramuh.Urial
サーバ: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 31068
By Ramuh.Urial 2011-12-07 19:14:51
Carbuncle.Joeywheeler said: »I think I figured out my problem why girls never flirt with me.
It's because I look 16.
So they think I'm jailbait.
I'm gonna say it's that and nothing else. :c
If you weren't so shy and initiated flirting it wouldn't happen. If you flirt with them and tell them you're 20 they will open up. Most girls see it as the males initiative to start flirting.
Will still be tough if he actually looks 16.
Be like me and pick up middle schoolers.
Middle schoolers try to flirt with me all the time == And it's because they think I'm their age, not because older chicks are cool.
Then I end up on Dateline NBC because one of them is an undercover cop or decoy.
But even then, I'm just way too shy to walk up to some random person and start chatting.
What if they have a boyfriend? Or think I'm weird? Then tell everyone I'm weird? It's too complicated.
No risk, no reward.
[+]
サーバ: Sylph
Game: FFXI
Posts: 15066
By Sylph.Tigerwoods 2011-12-07 19:15:25
Ramuh.Urial
サーバ: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 31068
By Ramuh.Urial 2011-12-07 19:16:22
Ramuh.Urial
サーバ: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 31068
By Ramuh.Urial 2011-12-07 19:17:25
I'll send you the links as soon as I'm on my computer unless someone wants to dig it up for me. Honestly it's probably stuff you already know/do instinctively. You don't seem like the type of person who needs my blunt advice D: Oh, it was more of "I wonder what Nini thinks of said behavior".
Im just showing interests in your thoughts/ideals.
And thanks :D
Fair enough D:< I'll send it you way in like ~20min.
Can anyone else see a TV ad?
"I used to get rejected all the time for being a Beta male. Then I discovered Nini's guide to being Alpha now I get all the ladies!"
サーバ: Odin
Game: FFXI
Posts: 1901
By Odin.Hitoseijuro 2011-12-07 19:21:03
I'll send you the links as soon as I'm on my computer unless someone wants to dig it up for me. Honestly it's probably stuff you already know/do instinctively. You don't seem like the type of person who needs my blunt advice D: Oh, it was more of "I wonder what Nini thinks of said behavior". Im just showing interests in your thoughts/ideals. And thanks :D Fair enough D:< I'll send it you way in like ~20min. "How you like to recieve your package"
o 5-8 Business Days
o 3-5 Business Days
o Two-day shipping
o One-day shipping
* Nini-Express 20mins
/insertcaptionF-Yeah.
Ramuh.Urial
サーバ: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 31068
By Ramuh.Urial 2011-12-07 19:22:18
I'll send you the links as soon as I'm on my computer unless someone wants to dig it up for me. Honestly it's probably stuff you already know/do instinctively. You don't seem like the type of person who needs my blunt advice D: Oh, it was more of "I wonder what Nini thinks of said behavior". Im just showing interests in your thoughts/ideals. And thanks :D Fair enough D:< I'll send it you way in like ~20min. "How you like to recieve your package"
o 5-8 Business Days
o 3-5 Business Days
o Two-day shipping
o One-day shipping
* Nini-Express 20mins
/insertcaptionF-Yeah.
Giving postage fee's I bet that cost a ton.
Caitsith.Mahayaya
サーバ: Caitsith
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3341
By Caitsith.Mahayaya 2011-12-07 19:24:47
Carbuncle.Joeywheeler said: »Older chicks > younger ones in my experience.
Yeah, nothing like a cougar whose biological clock has run out!
 Carbuncle.Kunisama
サーバ: Carbuncle
Game: FFXI
Posts: 389
By Carbuncle.Kunisama 2011-12-07 19:27:00
Carbuncle.Joeywheeler said: »I think I figured out my problem why girls never flirt with me.
It's because I look 16.
So they think I'm jailbait.
I'm gonna say it's that and nothing else. :c
If you weren't so shy and initiated flirting it wouldn't happen. If you flirt with them and tell them you're 20 they will open up. Most girls see it as the males initiative to start flirting.
Will still be tough if he actually looks 16.
Be like me and pick up middle schoolers.
Middle schoolers try to flirt with me all the time == And it's because they think I'm their age, not because older chicks are cool.
Then I end up on Dateline NBC because one of them is an undercover cop or decoy.
But even then, I'm just way too shy to walk up to some random person and start chatting.
What if they have a boyfriend? Or think I'm weird? Then tell everyone I'm weird? It's too complicated.
So what if they have a boyfriend or think you are weird. They were a stranger before and if nothing happens, you dont know the girl, no big deal. Just have to be confident and learn to cope with rejection, but confidence to just go up there and talk can get you a long way.
[+]
サーバ: Ifrit
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2328
By Ifrit.Darkanaseur 2011-12-07 19:27:27
Friend zone does exist. Some people just ahve better luck finding their way through the labyrinth
I've never thought so, majority of people I've known to be in a friend zone just haven't made their feelings clear, usually out of fear of "losing the friendship". Though surely if the friendship is that great then it's worthwhile taking the risk for the relationship.
That's how I see it anyway.
サーバ: Odin
Game: FFXI
Posts: 1901
By Odin.Hitoseijuro 2011-12-07 19:28:28
Giving postage fee's I bet that cost a ton. Your package is being handled by Nini, you cant put a price on that~
On topic: One of the things you have to consider about a dating site is you cant really have much contact with the person, like seeing them from day to day(school/work/SAA meetings)and having a better idea if theyre with someone. On sites, you just dont know, and you could fall into a web of relationships that someone is having with multiple people. Just to get what they want or find what they want(the wrong way).
[+]
Ramuh.Urial
サーバ: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 31068
By Ramuh.Urial 2011-12-07 19:30:28
Carbuncle.Kunisama said: »Carbuncle.Joeywheeler said: »I think I figured out my problem why girls never flirt with me.
It's because I look 16.
So they think I'm jailbait.
I'm gonna say it's that and nothing else. :c
If you weren't so shy and initiated flirting it wouldn't happen. If you flirt with them and tell them you're 20 they will open up. Most girls see it as the males initiative to start flirting.
Will still be tough if he actually looks 16.
Be like me and pick up middle schoolers.
Middle schoolers try to flirt with me all the time == And it's because they think I'm their age, not because older chicks are cool.
Then I end up on Dateline NBC because one of them is an undercover cop or decoy.
But even then, I'm just way too shy to walk up to some random person and start chatting.
What if they have a boyfriend? Or think I'm weird? Then tell everyone I'm weird? It's too complicated.
So what if they have a boyfriend or think you are weird. They were a stranger before and if nothing happens, you dont know the girl, no big deal. Just have to be confident and learn to cope with rejection, but confidence to just go up there and talk can get you a long way.
Perfectly said.
Ifrit.Darkanaseur said: »Friend zone does exist. Some people just ahve better luck finding their way through the labyrinth
I've never thought so, majority of people I've known to be in a friend zone just haven't made their feelings clear, usually out of fear of "losing the friendship". Though surely if the friendship is that great then it's worthwhile taking the risk for the relationship.
That's how I see it anyway.
Sometimes people do make those feelings known, and they aren't returned in the same way. you can be great friends and like someone a ton, but if they don't return it nothing can ever happen. That's the friend zone. Not two people afraid to take the risk.
Hades.Cheyne
サーバ: Hades
Game: FFXI
Posts: 9469
By Hades.Cheyne 2011-12-07 19:30:48
Carbuncle.Kunisama said: »Carbuncle.Joeywheeler said: »I think I figured out my problem why girls never flirt with me.
It's because I look 16.
So they think I'm jailbait.
I'm gonna say it's that and nothing else. :c
If you weren't so shy and initiated flirting it wouldn't happen. If you flirt with them and tell them you're 20 they will open up. Most girls see it as the males initiative to start flirting.
Will still be tough if he actually looks 16.
Be like me and pick up middle schoolers.
Middle schoolers try to flirt with me all the time == And it's because they think I'm their age, not because older chicks are cool.
Then I end up on Dateline NBC because one of them is an undercover cop or decoy.
But even then, I'm just way too shy to walk up to some random person and start chatting.
What if they have a boyfriend? Or think I'm weird? Then tell everyone I'm weird? It's too complicated.
So what if they have a boyfriend or think you are weird. They were a stranger before and if nothing happens, you dont know the girl, no big deal. Just have to be confident and learn to cope with rejection, but confidence to just go up there and talk can get you a long way.
I have pretty low self-confidence and self-esteem as it is. Last time I asked someone out which was like 5 years ago it was pretty embarrassing for me.
I don't mind being single, a girlfriend would be nice but it's not in my top 5 priority.
Ramuh.Urial
サーバ: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 31068
By Ramuh.Urial 2011-12-07 19:31:07
Giving postage fee's I bet that cost a ton. Your package is being handled by Nini, you cant put a price on that~
If I could [+] more than once I would simply for how much I lol'd.
[+]
Hades.Cheyne
サーバ: Hades
Game: FFXI
Posts: 9469
By Hades.Cheyne 2011-12-07 19:31:41
Giving postage fee's I bet that cost a ton. Your package is being handled by Nini, you cant put a price on that~
Lol. :>
So Nini will be at my house in 20 minutes? I'm kinda scared by that thought.
[+]
サーバ: Ifrit
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2328
By Ifrit.Darkanaseur 2011-12-07 19:33:15
Sometimes people do make those feelings known, and they aren't returned in the same way. you can be great friends and like someone a ton, but if they don't return it nothing can ever happen. That's the friend zone. Not two people afraid to take the risk.
Well, that too, in that case I just move on, though I'm lucky in that I'm able to do that easier than most.
Ramuh.Urial
サーバ: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 31068
By Ramuh.Urial 2011-12-07 19:33:16
Giving postage fee's I bet that cost a ton. Your package is being handled by Nini, you cant put a price on that~
Lol. :>
So Nini will be at my house in 20 minutes? I'm kinda scared by that thought. Maybe if you abuse your loli looks you can tell her it's your first time and she'll be gentle.
Caitsith.Mahayaya
サーバ: Caitsith
Game: FFXI
Posts: 3341
By Caitsith.Mahayaya 2011-12-07 19:33:25
This and Tucker Max is all you need to know about women.
Hades.Cheyne
サーバ: Hades
Game: FFXI
Posts: 9469
By Hades.Cheyne 2011-12-07 19:33:52
Giving postage fee's I bet that cost a ton. Your package is being handled by Nini, you cant put a price on that~
Lol. :>
So Nini will be at my house in 20 minutes? I'm kinda scared by that thought. Maybe if you abuse your loli looks you can tell her it's your first time and she'll be gentle.
It would be my first time.
Ramuh.Urial
サーバ: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 31068
By Ramuh.Urial 2011-12-07 19:34:01
Ifrit.Darkanaseur said: »Sometimes people do make those feelings known, and they aren't returned in the same way. you can be great friends and like someone a ton, but if they don't return it nothing can ever happen. That's the friend zone. Not two people afraid to take the risk.
Well, that too, in that case I just move on, though I'm lucky in that I'm able to do that easier than most. Moving on or not it's still the friend zone.
You've just accepted that you two could be no more than friends.
Some don't do that as easily, feel bad for them but eh.
サーバ: Ifrit
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2328
By Ifrit.Darkanaseur 2011-12-07 19:37:37
Moving on or not it's still the friend zone.
You've just accepted that you two could be no more than friends.
Some don't do that as easily, feel bad for them but eh.
I don't really consider myself in a friend zone if I no longer have any interest in a relationship. I tend not to get attached to people until after we begin dating though, so it's more of a, "Wanna go out?", "No.", "Okay :[". And done!
Carbuncle.Kunisama
サーバ: Carbuncle
Game: FFXI
Posts: 389
By Carbuncle.Kunisama 2011-12-07 19:38:28
What do you mean by no such thing as friend zone? you mean a guy and a girl can't be friends without some other feelings going on?
Ramuh.Urial
サーバ: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 31068
By Ramuh.Urial 2011-12-07 19:40:40
Giving postage fee's I bet that cost a ton. Your package is being handled by Nini, you cant put a price on that~
Lol. :>
So Nini will be at my house in 20 minutes? I'm kinda scared by that thought. Maybe if you abuse your loli looks you can tell her it's your first time and she'll be gentle.
It would be my first time. Well like I said abuse your loli looks and be hesitant while saying that.
Everyone knows Nini has a weakness for loli's.
Or she would be that much more aroused and probably break you.
サーバ: Ifrit
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2328
By Ifrit.Darkanaseur 2011-12-07 19:43:23
Carbuncle.Kunisama said: »What do you mean by no such thing as friend zone? you mean a guy and a girl can't be friends without some other feelings going on?
That's not what I said? I'm talking about my experiences with it, you can have feelings for a friend, but if I get a "No" for an answer, I move on, others unfortunately aren't able to do that and feel stuck which must suck pretty badly.
サーバ: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2595
By Bismarck.Elanabelle 2011-12-07 19:54:15
If a girl doesn't message you back on something like an online dating site, after several correspondences, does that mean you should give up and move on?
If you've had 3 messages go un-returned, I'd say that's the limit, and you should move on. Anything more than that is probably going to be fruitless at best, and potentially harassment at worst.
Ramuh.Urial
サーバ: Ramuh
Game: FFXI
Posts: 31068
By Ramuh.Urial 2011-12-07 19:55:44
Bismarck.Elanabelle said: »If a girl doesn't message you back on something like an online dating site, after several correspondences, does that mean you should give up and move on?
If you've had 3 messages go un-returned, I'd say that's the limit, and you should move on. Anything more than that is probably going to be fruitless at best, and potentially harassment at worst.
I bet Elaina used to live by the 3 day rule as well.
If you get her number wait 3 days. Now 3 is the magic number for everything!
/nod
I'm onto you.
サーバ: Bismarck
Game: FFXI
Posts: 2595
By Bismarck.Elanabelle 2011-12-07 20:02:18
Nah.
Some women don't feel like you're "trying hard enough" if you only leave 1 message and then give up.
Other women feel like if you're sending multiple messages that go without a response, then you're creepy/heavy-handed/stalker.
So, unless you happen to think you're REALLY good at identifying which girls are which type, I'd say 3 messages is a good general "cut-off". You're unlikely to alienate the needy girls, and unlikely to set-off the paranoid girls.
And no, I didn't go by the "3 day rule".
So, I was having a conversation with a female friend of mine last night about... well I honestly don't remember how it came up. Anyway, I have a habit of talking to girls once, or in class or just in any general setting and then if the next time, they don't give any indication of saying anything back I give up and move on.
For a more literal example I will go with an online situation. On a dating site like okcupid, I always give a well thought out message that leaves room for a response. Usually they respond a few times, each time the message gets longer and by about the 3rd message between us it tends to be really long. After that point, averaging 3 messages, no matter how well they go, or any indication that they dislike me (one girl literally said "have you ever met someone and after something they said, just wanted to blurt out 'marry me?'" (yes, it was odd)) they just don't respond, ever. Anyway, I always go "meh" and don't worry about it, never making an attempt to speak to them again.
Now, this situation comes along a lot. I am honestly not particularly attractive and make a point to let everyone know I am a nerd since it's literally everything I do in someway (I know that's the last thing you wanna say to a girl, but it felt relevant to the whole question). Every single time, I make a point of never making a point to greet people or go out of my way to speak to them, unless they do themselves because I believe that not taking the hint and talking to them again is the best way to make them think I am creepy. I don't talk a lot in public, but I think some people find it strange how much I talk with just them, so I am always worried people will think I'm creepy. In the end, all that really matters is the basic question based on the dating site example for ease of wording but it goes for everything, not just that specifically:
If the girl doesn't message you back, is it okay to message them again? Or is it considered creepy?
My friend is convinced it's okay to message them back, but she is a female and cute at that, I am pretty sure she has no idea what rejection is (I've known her a very long time so I know she doesn't)
I am convinced that the best way to make them decide I'm a worse creeper than the guy who runs around to every girls page and says "lets fuck", since that guy isn't paying them any special interest, where if a guy who actually took the time to give a shit, gives a shit, he may be really into them and clearly I can't take a hint.
I keep over explaining things, is it a hint to stop talking to them if they don't respond? It honestly seems pretty obvious that it is a strong hint, but my friend is convinced other wise.
Anyway, I'll restate the main question in the tl;dr:
tl;dr:
If a girl doesn't message you back on something like an online dating site, after several correspondences, does that mean you should give up and move on?
|
|
