Random Thoughts.....What Are You Thinking?

I have had a blast being back. Maybe a sparks guy ATM. But I have enjoyed going threw old zones so far. I use to rush home from the gym to play. Now I find myself doing so again.

He's that Draylo? Oh man him and Proth were amazing at helping with the BLU stuff. I hear BLUs are doing really good now too I think.

whats up BBB, long time no see

Dray is a good dude. I remember the talks he and Sevourn had back in the day. Wow I am getting old lol.

lol those days were fun, I was a punk back then. Funny how a lot of the same people are still here all these years later, XI brought people together!

Back to posting and back to playing bro. How are you?

Welcome home!

p good, stopped playing XI a while ago and haven't really been back, but i plan on going in for the new scenarios at least.


re: draylo; no problem with him as a person, wish i was as passionate about something as he is about XI. don't agree with some stuff he says or some of his views, but wishing death on him like i've seen a lot of people doing over the last week is *** up

Come on guys. Can't we get along. We are the old guys on FFaih now.

I still remember the first time I met you Dray. You and Shurt needed a 6th for Nyzul, and let me come PLD way back then, lol.

Why do I feel like this is a new Expendables movie in the works?

I mean, I know we're the "old guys" that are left. But god damn, no need to broadcast like we're a bunch of old geezers.

It really did. I think that was one of the strongest qualities XI had.

Glad your doing good Pro. Coming back is fun. Can't wait to try the new stuff. Hopefully with old and or new friends. That's what I have really missed.

Hate to somber any moods here, but i've been pretty detached from anything social this entire week. I just got home from my daughter's funeral (she passed away last saturday morning) and as hard as this has been, I haven't allowed myself any time to sit down alone and take all of this in. Now that i'm sitting here away from everyone, my thoughts are how am I going to accept the fact I will never see her smile again, or enter a room and light up the place with her laughter, or getting the needed phone call that she is sad and needs to talk, or her asking for simple advice... small things (and only a few of much more) that are a huge part of who she was. I can't describe what I feel. I know this isn't the place I should bring this, but honestly, FFXI has been a huge part of my life and the community and friends are like a 2nd family to me. I will miss her forever.

One of the things I hated had changed when I went back to FFXI a few years ago. Abyssea made it really hard to get that together feeling since mostly everyone mindlessly kills stuff or goes afk while others do.

WTB old school exp parties.

That being said I did level the hell out of my jobs in abyssea >_>

But Bloodrose. It would be one hell of a movie.

Dealing with loss, sure as hell ain't easy. That being said, simply inserting the Butters Scotch meme probably won't lighten your load either.

A few years ago I felt the same way when my uncle passed away from cancer. FFXI felt like a constant, when the whole world around you changed after that one single call changed your world.

This whole experience ended up repeating when my Grandpa died 2 years prior to my Uncle, and again when my Grandmother died shortly after due to food poisoning from the assisted living facility she was in. And it doesn't get any easier, no matter how many times it happens.

Ah Halt. I am sorry man. Can't even begin to think how you must feel. You are correct about there being good plp here though. I have kept a few FF friends longer than most of my RL friends. Have always been glad I started playing and posting

Abyssea was the point when I was done playing, I missed the social interaction with random players too much. Joining random groups just wasn't the same, I missed going out as a group of 6 and taking on a lil area for a few hours to ourselves. I met most of my friends from XI through XP parties, and once Abyssea hit, everyone just seemed to want to do their own thing.

You can bring whatever you need to this place, there's no one (who we take seriously) who will say you can't.

I hope you're able to find some amount of peace. I know what it's like to lose someone who's close to you like that. I'm not going to lie and tell you that it isn't hard, because it is, but you need to remain strong.

I met my only friends through a chain of events that started with a Dunes party when I was Lv12 13 years ago >_>

I miss skilling up :| I actually had fun doing that with friends in Boyahda Tree and Kuftal

I think immediately after a loss of someone you care about, it's ok to break down and let yourself be weak and vulnerable for a little bit. Because I also believe that showing you have emotions, but knowing how to be in control of then when you need to be, is what makes you strong.

But that even strong people, emotionally and mentally, need to vent, and need help. Especially when they feel they are about to break, or feel broken.

I have a 14 year old son and he and his sister were very close. I'm staying strong for him because I know I have to be. I thank you for the reassurance of bringing this here, I was afraid to for days because I know some people in the world don't wanna be burdened with what others are going through. I came here cause I haven't had anyone or any place to speak and talking to people keeps me from stuffing it inside.

Well I am looking forward to playing with old friends and making new ones.

Ah Halt, everyone is welcomed here bro.

Believe me, from *YEARS OF DOING SO*, keeping it all inside is the fastest way to explode, or implode.

But, given the circumstances of loss, it can feel like a hellish nightmare to find a positive place to speak about your feelings. Be it publicly, or anonymously. I would say even letting it all out little by little is awesome. Even if it's to a group of strangers (that you don't know personally, but know them in a sense of online community)

There are plenty of people here who will support you by means of talking, or listening. So that you can accept the loss for what it is, and still enjoy those sweet memories for what they are.

So many repetitive threads...I don't like repeating the same things all the time *avoids them all*